Talk to the ones who will be ordering the skip bin

How many times have we seen the skip bin delivered to the deceased estate? The family descends and makes quick work of clearing out the house for sale.

In our case it was three bins, many many car loads, garbage bins and trips to charity shops. I’m not saying it isn’t a big job. For us it was a labour of love and we had been told that we needed to look out for some valuable coins. I think this was a ploy dreamt up by my father and the next door neighbour.

Our sons in law have already said that all the stuff my husband is putting in the loft lift is going to skip (some of the stuff already belongs there! The boys should be encouraging him to cut out the middle step)

Hint: label important belongings

When we cleaned out my Dad’s house we made a picnic of it.  All the family was involved.  Any coins we found (but not the valuable ones) paid for lunch and any helpers could keep whatever they wanted. We laughed about items and memories and I'm sure the grandchildren were well aware of the history of the ornaments, jewellery, paintings etc.

Seven months later after fortnightly visits we completed the job. Only then did I start doing Family history and in talking to relatives suddenly realized the long term ramifications of what was done. For example this comes to mind. My aunt mentioned that “lovely” jewellery box my mother had on her dressing table which came in the trunk from India after my uncle returned from the war. None of us liked it or knew of the reason mum had it and we sent both the jewellery box and trunk to auction. It made  $350+.  To find the provenance of it so late in the piece really made my stomach churn. Luckily a lot of papers made it into “the family history box” for further evaluation.

As you’ve seen from many of my family history blogs many of the photos and information have falling into place. Some of it gets pulled out from time to time and another piece of the puzzle makes itself known.

Heaven forbid I’m not suggesting you fill your house with another household’s junk. I personally hate houses that become a shrine for the dead mother-in-law or granny or are full of dead people’s furniture and belongings. I’m just warning you to take time and ask questions.

Some might say “I thought no one would be interested”.  Meanwhile others young and old may never forgive you for tossing their heritage. Knowing what I know now I’d be extremely disappointed to have lost so much. Remember there will probably only be one copy of grandmas photos and how many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren did she have?  Someone will be interested.

It's a bit horses for courses. Some view paperwork and trinkets as hoarding or a sign of disorganization. I say work out the person most likely to be the family archivist and historian and ask them to become custodian or at least ask for their advice. At the very least whip a few things through the scanner and email the documents before you hoik the papers.  I’m so glad I didn't throw all our priceless and irreplaceable photos. In our haste to finish the job, important not necessarily valuable stuff gets destroyed or boxed away before the interested person gets to lay eyes on the treasure trove.

I’ve worked in an op shop – people are ridiculously hasty. They can’t comprehend why grandma had a tablecloth with embroidered initials on it. If only they’d known  that it was carefully crafted by a long gone Sophia who tirelessly worked on her hope chest item in the early days of the colony. Perhaps their stomach would churn if they knew its story.

My great uncles fob - my brother wants to sell it!

So, I say talk about the items of importance in your household, be guided by the reason your Mum or Dad kept an item from his or her parent’s estate.  Look for the paperwork that backs up the value of the silverware or the banjo or the notes which say “Keep this” or “This came out from Scotland”.  These are future heirlooms.

The old record player in my grandfather's lounge room and a shell that was treasured

The mantle clock, Scottish ornaments and the china cabinet

As I wrote this piece I was scanning some photos of my grandmother’s house for a friend.  The photos are pretty blurred but I can see the two Scottish Highland fling ornaments that were Nanny’s. After she died they lived in my father’s house and now my brother’s.  The old record player was replaced several times over. I’ve got the mantle clock but the lovely curved glass cabinet … gone to auction. You can’t keep everything including the old piano that every grandchild fought over.  No one played it … not even Dad who it was bought for in the 1930s. 

No "heirlooms" in sight in this old house

#52ancestors