The story below is from my memories of my second cousin Wendy. Any
mistakes are mine as there are gaps in time due to breaks in contact with one
another. I’m like Wendy- don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story!
Wendy
was born Claire Juanita Gadsby on 13 March 1938. Her father was William
(Bill) Gadsby of London, and her mother was Edith Rita Fell of
Stroud. They had married in Melbourne in 1936. She was nicknamed Wendy by her
father, my Great Uncle Bill for Wendy from Peter Pan at a very early age. How
apt that name was.
About
12 years ago, my Auntie Airdrie had some papers witnessed by Wendy. She pulled
me aside and said “Did you know her name is Claire Juanita?” So, her 86 year old
cousin only just found out that her official name was Claire Juanita. I thought that Wendy came from a shortening of
Juanita, but her son Stephen claimed that his Grandfather who was an “out- of -the-
books eccentric” nicknamed her from the Wendy character of Peter Pan story.
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| The photo says it's to be a very important performance |
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| Uncle Bill and baby Wendy |
Little
Wendy became motherless when her mother was institutionalised due to mental
illness when she was very young. Believing her mother to be dead, she spent
time in Melbourne while Bill was working there, but whenever she lived in
Sydney, she was mothered by her father’s sisters, Grace, Lena, Kitty, Edie,
Maudie Rose and Julia and spoilt by brothers, Jack and Harry.
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| Wendy |
She
fitted in well with the small families or childless aunts, and occasionally
with big families like those of Great Uncle Harold and Great Auntie Kath who
helped to also house their own daughters, sons and grandchildren in those post
war years of housing shortages. Wendy remembered fondly sitting with her cousin
Dorothy each Friday night carefully preparing Dorothy’s glory box items of
towels and linen.
She
had lived with almost everyone because of her father’s long work hours in the
hospitality industry. As she spent a lot
of her childhood around adults in our extended family Wendy picked up all the family
stories and perhaps a few secrets. For example, Aunty Kit’s business tips for
running a Reception Hall. A number of 21st, engagements and weddings
were held there and it was all hands on deck for the catering and serving.
I’ve
known Wendy all my life so I picked her brains when I began doing Family
History because she knew the extended family better than anyone. She regaled me
with lots of fancy stories, some of which I was unsure whether to believe or
not. I am pretty sure I don’t believe the one about my Great Grandmother Selina
being a mistress of Edward VII even though she points out the family
resemblances.
Being
my mother‘s cousin and of a similar age,
Wendy knew Mum (Marlene) and my Grandmother Julia well, and all the ins and
outs of the married life of the Kelfs. She had lots of stories about Julia, her
working life at Grace Brothers with Auntie Maudie Rose, her romance with the
fancy Frank Kelf. and her religious
beliefs.
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| Wendy, Marlene, Auntie Julia and Douglas |
When
Wendy finished school, she went to work in an advertising agency, a job I
believe she enjoyed immensely. This was in the 1950s. She would call around
after work and help my dad babysit us while my mother raced off to complete her
university degree at night.
In
1958, Wendy married Dean Bruce Reid Cornish. Electoral Rolls tell us she lived
in Wells St West Pennant Hills not far from our place at Carlingford. No doubt Mum
and Wendy had the odd coffee or two when my brother Paul and sister Helen were little.
They would be playmates with Steven born in 1962 and Danny born
in 1964.
Unfortunately,
her marriage was short lived and had ended by the time Danny was born. I
remember when Danny was born, I was taken back that Wendy had been sitting in
her hospital bed, sketching her tiny son, and sending out cards, announcing his
birth to her cousins. Others have told me that it was because she was stuck in
a corner because there were no rooms at the hospital and she was poked in a
corner-probably no one to talk to.
Wendy
was a resilient woman and carried on. As a mature age single mother student,
she obtained her primary teaching qualifications passing the course with fantastic grades. By this time she had moved to the southern
side of Sydney living close to Aunty Grace and Bet and close to her Cousin
Betty Shortell, husband Ray and her two boys Ian and Jeffrey. From what I can remember it was just a hop
skip and a jump between the Oatley houses. Her best friend, Aunty Pat Hepworth
was always around. She was like a second mother to the boys and was always
welcomed by the extended Gadsby clan at family
weddings etc.
After
completing her studies, Wendy was eventually appointed to Mortdale PS after Chester Hill, then spent time at
Oatley in the 1970s. She retired at age 55 from her position as Principal of
Hurstville Grove PS. From what I’ve been
told she was a well-loved if not chaotic teacher around the Mortdale, Oatley and
Hurstville area. I can remember her dark horn-rimmed glasses and imagined she
was not one to toe the line when a person, teaching method or curriculum did
not earn her respect.
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Wendy's class at Oatley 1976
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She
was so proud of her boys Steven and Dan and their partners, Karen and Fran.
Over the years two grandsons Jesse and Alexander came along. They in recent
years have grown up (literally) and graduated from school and Uni beginning
their own careers.
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Wendy with sons Dan and Steve, Daughters-in- law Fran and Karen and Grandsons Alex and Jesse
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She
was well remembered by her past students and I met some of them in March when
they came together for an event Wendy organised. At the last event we were at
she kept referring to people in the room as her grandchildren. Knowing that her
two grandsons weren’t at the event I shook my head. Someone explained she was referring to her
“adopted” grandkids who were supporting her cause at that time which was the
Rotary Thankyou Day. That’s the sort of
person she was.
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| Page 2 of the jigsaw letter |
Wendy
was quirky, regaling us with memories and stories, and always talking at a
million miles an hour, putting a spin on everyone’s thoughts and actions. One of the first bits of family history she
sent me was a letter written on a blank jigsaw template. I had to put the
puzzle together from the envelop. She had written on both sides -even harder! Perhaps
it was a metaphor- Family History is a puzzle to resolve.
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| Betty Shortell, Harold Gadsby and Wendy visit me to tell me the family story 2011 |
She
was always keen to read the stories I had uncovered. The Gadsbys and the Smith/
Greedus /Baker side never ceased to amaze us once it was unpicked. If only
Selina was here to tell us her side of the story.
As
the last “with it” family matriarch she was very knowledgeable about the crazy goings
on in our family history and more was remembered over the years. Along with cousin Betty Shortell they took
turns in gathering the clans together for Christmas or birthday events. At one
of these events, my mother filmed the colonial dress up day Wendy hosted around
the Bicentennial and collected up notes for the beginning of my Family Tree. It
was good to see all their cousins laughing and talking together at her Oatley
bush block. Uncle Bill was interviewed and told of the day the bailiffs turned
up during his childhood and tried to seize the furniture and the piano.
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| Wendy, Marlene, Airdrie and Betty at Doug and Jill's 1982 |
To
everyone’s surprise her mother Rita was released from care after the Richmond
Scheme Report recommended release of patients back into the community. This was
somewhere in the eighties. If we didn’t know Wendy’s name was Claire we
certainly didn’t know about Rita. Wendy was at first shocked to know her mother
was even alive, but she was able to have a relationship with her from then
until her eventual death in November
2002 when she was 89.
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| Rita Gadsby- Wendy's long lost Mum |
When
I inherited Family History duties I called on Wendy to help me. She and Betty
hopped in a train to Wollongong for the
day to fill me in. As soon as I discovered it was 100 years since Gadsbys and
the Kelfs arrived in Australia, it was decided to have a Centenary celebration
with the wider family in late 2012. She told the stories and Leane Lawrence and
I organised the troops. What a great day that was.
Her
best friend, Aunty Pat Hepworth was always around. She was like a second mother
to the boys and was always welcomed by the extended Gadsby clan at family weddings etc.
In
retirement Wendy travelled around to various
parts of the world with Patty, Grace and
the two Bettys covering China, Alaska,
Africa, Egypt, USA, New Zealand, and the UK. I was most intrigued by the
dogsledding in Alaska.
Betty Whitcombe, Pat Hepworth, Betty Shortell, WendyOver
the years, she inspired students and colleagues with her methods, dedication
and fun and passion. When she retired her urge to help others, spilled over to
fundraising for many causes. Committees and organisations around the local area
where enthusiastically supported by Wendy. Some of these included Bezzina House
Lions, Rotary, C.W.A. (the cranky women) Catherine Hamlyn Foundation, Amnesty
International, Grace’s Place, St George
Hospital, Jeans for Jeans and Probus etc.
Apparently,
Wendy liked to “don a hat” to gain attention on a street corner in Mortdale and
many were given as mementoes at her funeral. You did not dare ignore the lady
in the beanie or sparkling hat, holding a book of raffle tickets in the local
shopping centre daring you to buy a ticket or toss a coin in a bucket. Many spoke very highly of her and her antics during
her numerous eulogies which continued during her wake. I think all her
functions and events kept the Mortdale RSL afloat. Locally, she was known as Mrs Raffles or the
Raffle Queen. Can you believe she had “RAFFLES” number plates?
Imagine
Rita’s joy to see her talented daughter be honoured in the Queen’s Birthday
list. The office of the Governor General announced on Monday, 10 June 2002 that
Wendy was to be included in the Queen’s Birthday honours for an Order of
Australia Medal (OAM). This was for service to the community as a fundraiser,
particularly for the Cancer Care Lodge and Lamrock Community at the St George
Hospital.
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| Dan with Steve wearing Wendy's OAM |
She
kept the award quiet and until recently I didn’t even know of her extensive reputation.
Stephen wore her award at her funeral after a search for it. Wendy wasn’t in it
for the accolades. She made me dizzy, with all the events and causes she was
associated with. One morning I was lying in bed listening to the local
Wollongong events and happenings when up popped an advertisement for a Probus
meeting at the Wollongong Master Builders Club. Mrs Wendy Gadsby was talking on
a topic like “How to be a Clown” or “How to tell a joke”. I gather she was a
regular guest speaker. In addition to the
fundraising she made time to driving friends to doctors’ appointments.
I
will always remember Wendy’s 80th birthday party. This party was an enormous
spread of her friends from all the above community groups, acquaintances,
people she could cajole into singing, dancing, play music, etc for an
entertaining afternoon. It was nice. It was at small gathering of our relatives. A couple of years later when I met up with more relatives at her cousin Harold
‘s funeral they all greeted Wendy as a long lost “sister”.
Wendy left with a selection of her cousin's children at her cousin Harold's funeral
Wendy
was a great support to me when Auntie Airdrie, her cousin came under my care in
the nursing home. We watched her only daughter Julie die of the same cancer as Wendy.
After Julie had passed away. Wendy was a constant visitor and mentor until
Covid hit. During lockdown she wrote letters and reminded Airdrie of the family
stories. We didn’t trust the Nursing Home and we had a scheme in which we
visited the nursing home on different days at different times so that we could
get a feel for what was going on or not.
I
think Wendy suffered withdrawals during the time of the pandemic from the
isolation and lack of contact with her friends, children and Grandchildren. She
used the time to dig in burgeoning coffee grinds from the local coffee shop
into her garden and grass verge. During
the pandemic, you could still do small trips and talk to passers-by, and being
good at talking, it filled in her day as well as helping the environment in the
last years of her life.
Recently
I met some of her friends, particularly Rozie, Carole and Rozie‘s daughter, Ceilidh and we vowed to
keep an eye out for Wendy. Wendy and I
had our Rotary Clubs in common and the last time I saw her was the day she
organised to thank people at a local clubs event. I was to sell raffles but by
the time I got there some others were organised into it! Everyone won a prize
at this particular one. The day was a brilliant concept of getting like-minded
people together, sharing our causes and thanking each other for what we did.
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Wendy and I March 2023
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Only
a few days later, Patty died from complications of Covid. After that news, Wendy
did admit she was down. I was worried she was so thin but I hadn’t seen her
through Covid. ln another one of my phone calls in July when I was checking on
her she told me she had news about a cancer diagnosis that was going to be the
end of her. She was determined to be in
the group that got an extended time but it was not to be. She died of
pancreatic cancer on 13 October at the age of 85.
In the end she
had helped raise more than $1 million for charities. For her fundraising achievements
she also won a Paul Harris Medal from Rotary. She was also nominated for the Rotary Inspirational Woman of the Year.
Wendy received a Paul Harris Fellow
Typical of Wendy and her concern
for the Environment she wished to be composted but it is not currently allowed.
Steve invited her friends in the days before her funeral to decorate her
cardboard coffin. It arrived at her service all green and adorned with
paintings, poems, stories, stickers and bling, A real environmental statement.
Vale Wendy RIP
Airdrie, Ray Julie, Moi, Steve, Wendy, Merrie, Uncle Bill Our Wedding 1977
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It's a shame to only meet at funerals Dan, Steve, Jeff Chris
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This was the 2nd
reading in Wendy’s Celebration of Life booklet
To
laugh often and much To
leave the world a bit better
To
win the respect of intelligent people whether
by a healthy child
and
affection of children a
garden patch or a redeemed
To
earn appreciation of honest critics social
condition
and
endure the betrayal of false friends To
know even one life has breathed
To
appreciate beauty, to find the best easier,
because you have lived
in
others. this
is to have succeeded.
Ralph
Waldo Emerson
Here's a couple of other shots I found
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| Marge and Leo Herdon, Betty Whitcombe and Marlene Kerr |
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| Bill Gadsby's 80th with Wendy's cousins Betty, Harold, Marge, Bill, Dorothy |
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Fran, Eadie nee Gadsby Bill, Wendy, Ray and Betty Shortell, Betty Whitcombe, Dan
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